Dear Meredith: How Do I Deal with Out-of-Control Hot Tubbers?

Q: After vacationing in Aspen for years, we recently invested in a ski in/ski out fractional unit—paying even more than we planned to in order to get prime weeks. One of our favorite family après activities is soaking in the hot tub at our complex. The problem is that no matter the time of year, the hot tub always seems to be filled with either oblivious partiers or amorous couples. I understand it’s not a private amenity, although it’d be nice if there were a happy medium between our PG intentions and others’ frat-like conduct. This is supposed to be our relaxing getaway, so we’d rather not confront anyone about their inappropriateness.
A: Aspen is to hot-tubbing what Silicon Valley is to tech development: the industry gold standard. If it were possible to make a living soaking in 104-degree water, you’d see an awful lot of light-headed people walking down the Cooper Avenue mall in robes, sporting pruned fingers and permagrins. It always strikes me as odd when people hoard shared amenities, and even odder when they aren’t embarrassed to carry on like (overgrown) children in the presence of (actual) children.
If the sight of your family awkwardly standing around in the snow wearing bathing suits doesn’t send a strong enough message to the hot-tubbers to cool it, check with your property manager about the rules (i.e., any time limit per soak, number of people allowed, presence of alcoholic beverages). Regardless of what you find out, let the manager know there needs to be some renewed enforcement. Or perhaps consider poaching a hot tub in the West End; there are lots of them that never see a warm body (or any body at all).